Revision: Draft 1
Pratt Institute
CEP/Sang, Kim
Re-illuminating America Society through the Simpsons
Kerin, Lee
If you are not lived or (delete) living in America, (Kerin, rewrite this sentence.) you might be heard about animation of the Simpsons or comics at least once. Through the Simpsons, we can get a lot of things that was (were) related with (to) America society. The Simpsons is well represented their country as each of unique characters.(delete ‘s’) This animation was not expressed (does not express) to exaggerated, beautiful or pretty their society but it showed their country as it stands.(Kerin, work on verb tense. The Simpsons is still running, so use the present tense.) I will re-illuminate modern America society through Simpson family and I make two point views which was (agreement, viewpoints which were) positive and negative aspects of America society.
First of all, I can find some different things as a foreigner’s view and those are affirmatively representative America society. At this animation American families are having equal position when they decide (redundant, delete these.)what they have to choose from great things to simple things. They were expressed (Kerin, don’t use passive voice too often. “They express”) to put at the same level from a right of determination. In the real world American families are similar with Simpson family’s situation. It was (Kerin, when you use past tense, it means, that certain things are not true now. So be careful for choosing proper tense.) not relevant to power of paterfamilias and the position of man or women. The equality of family could be bringing widely the sociological equality. In the episode of ‘Please Homer don’t hammer’em’. The hero and a part of father is Homer Simpson. Homer does not want to tell the truth that actually his honor is his wife’s and moreover at the last time he did not explain it. However his daughter who is Lisa Simpson shouts to (at) Homer to elucidate (reveal) the truth in front of even a lot of people. Like this their family was not existing hierarchy of family.
Simpson animation has many stories that could be happening in the real modern America society. In the contrast of positive aspects, the author was handling with sensitive social problems through many episodes. Mostly being social problems is discrimination especially sexual discrimination and racism.(Kerin, revise it into simple and clear.) In the real world also it was. For example in episode of “The city of New York vs. Homer Simpsons”, foreigners were expressed to legal immigrants as well as people who came from other country and immigrants are expressed as incompetent people, trouble makers or very rude and impolite people. (This sentence is too long. You need to break it down into two sentences.) Of course they have different outward appearance, different culture and even different languages however no one can set the domination position that which culture is good or bad. Out of animation, I can find still people who have troubled in racism. Not only racism also sexual discrimination is also one of the biggest problems. At episode of “Please Homer don’t hammer’em”, even though Marge has great ability to fix wood works, she can not get a work as a carpenter. The reason is Marge is a woman. Like sexual discrimination was being formed as feminism, the discrimination that was against logic was the problem that has to be disappeared and still leaved in modern America society.
Through Simpsons, I can see the modern America society as two of different aspects and easily compare with the real world that I was living in. American families have an equal right of determination and they put their position on the same level. The right of equality at the family could be bringing widely the sociological equality. I think this thing was a motive power to lead developed modern America society. On the other hand discrimination particularly sexual discrimination and racism is the biggest problems impeding development of America. The Simpsons was made by for entertaining however this animation is the well representative the modern America society to learn easily about their country to foreigners.
CEP/Sang, Kim
Re-illuminating America Society through the Simpsons
Kerin, Lee
If you are not lived or (delete) living in America, (Kerin, rewrite this sentence.) you might be heard about animation of the Simpsons or comics at least once. Through the Simpsons, we can get a lot of things that was (were) related with (to) America society. The Simpsons is well represented their country as each of unique characters.(delete ‘s’) This animation was not expressed (does not express) to exaggerated, beautiful or pretty their society but it showed their country as it stands.(Kerin, work on verb tense. The Simpsons is still running, so use the present tense.) I will re-illuminate modern America society through Simpson family and I make two point views which was (agreement, viewpoints which were) positive and negative aspects of America society.
First of all, I can find some different things as a foreigner’s view and those are affirmatively representative America society. At this animation American families are having equal position when they decide (redundant, delete these.)what they have to choose from great things to simple things. They were expressed (Kerin, don’t use passive voice too often. “They express”) to put at the same level from a right of determination. In the real world American families are similar with Simpson family’s situation. It was (Kerin, when you use past tense, it means, that certain things are not true now. So be careful for choosing proper tense.) not relevant to power of paterfamilias and the position of man or women. The equality of family could be bringing widely the sociological equality. In the episode of ‘Please Homer don’t hammer’em’. The hero and a part of father is Homer Simpson. Homer does not want to tell the truth that actually his honor is his wife’s and moreover at the last time he did not explain it. However his daughter who is Lisa Simpson shouts to (at) Homer to elucidate (reveal) the truth in front of even a lot of people. Like this their family was not existing hierarchy of family.
Simpson animation has many stories that could be happening in the real modern America society. In the contrast of positive aspects, the author was handling with sensitive social problems through many episodes. Mostly being social problems is discrimination especially sexual discrimination and racism.(Kerin, revise it into simple and clear.) In the real world also it was. For example in episode of “The city of New York vs. Homer Simpsons”, foreigners were expressed to legal immigrants as well as people who came from other country and immigrants are expressed as incompetent people, trouble makers or very rude and impolite people. (This sentence is too long. You need to break it down into two sentences.) Of course they have different outward appearance, different culture and even different languages however no one can set the domination position that which culture is good or bad. Out of animation, I can find still people who have troubled in racism. Not only racism also sexual discrimination is also one of the biggest problems. At episode of “Please Homer don’t hammer’em”, even though Marge has great ability to fix wood works, she can not get a work as a carpenter. The reason is Marge is a woman. Like sexual discrimination was being formed as feminism, the discrimination that was against logic was the problem that has to be disappeared and still leaved in modern America society.
Through Simpsons, I can see the modern America society as two of different aspects and easily compare with the real world that I was living in. American families have an equal right of determination and they put their position on the same level. The right of equality at the family could be bringing widely the sociological equality. I think this thing was a motive power to lead developed modern America society. On the other hand discrimination particularly sexual discrimination and racism is the biggest problems impeding development of America. The Simpsons was made by for entertaining however this animation is the well representative the modern America society to learn easily about their country to foreigners.
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